Now is always the perfect time to start fresh.
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WE ARE ONE WEEK INTO THE BRAND NEW DECADE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING EXACTLY ACCORDING TO PLAN, RIGHT? OF COURSE NOT! WE LIVE HERE IN THE ACTUAL REAL WORLD. IT’S JUST FINE BECAUSE WE ARE GIVING OURSELVES THE AUTHORITY TO START FRESH WHENEVER WE NEED TO. NEW BEGINNINGS DON’T HAVE TO FALL ON A MONDAY, THE FIRST OF THE MONTH, A NEW DAY, OR EVEN A NEW YEAR. YOU CAN START LIVING THE LIFE THAT YOU WANT RIGHT NOW! GO AHEAD. GIVE IT A TRY.
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SHOW TOPICS TODAY:
- Easy new year
- We can love politics and still tune it out
- Are New Year’s Resolutions necessary?
- It doesn’t have to be perfect
- Visualize the life you want
- Make a plan
- It doesn’t have to have a name
- Online communities can be helpful or toxic. Go easy.
- Slide off the wagon? Climb back on.
- Don’t explain yourself
- You don’t need permission
- Change for you or for show?
- Change = Danger + opportunity. Maybe.
- Where is your stop?
- One step back doesn’t mean a LEAP forward
- My hopes for you
- Show up and breathe
You might like:
New Year’s Resolutions and Peace in the New Year.
Make Peace With Your Body This New Year
Make Peace with Food. Reap the Benefits Forever.
Transcript:
Most importantly, how can you get yourself in a mindset where you’re comfortable? Starting fresh now, starting fresh tomorrow, starting fresh at 3 p.m. Starting fresh in the middle of the night by getting more sleep. Whatever you have to. D’oh! So that any time life takes you a bit off the course, you say to yourself, “Huh. That just happened. I recognize that happened. I will take a moment. And except that it happened. I’m going to evaluate the circumstances that brought me here. And I’m going to start fresh as I am right now.
Welcome to Finding Finish Lines. The hopeful podcast celebrating women fearlessly living their vision for a joyful life, healthy family and a better community. Join us. Be inspired. Take a deep breath, drop whatever doesn’t serve you and take your place in a sisterhood of active, passionate women.
Hey, and welcome to another episode of the finding finish Line’s podcast. I am your host. I’m Sally Bulavko. Oh, and I’m the creator of this podcast and Finding Finish Lines the blog which you can find at findingfinishlines.com.
Friends. I am so happy that you are here because we are now, what, a week into the new year? That’s some exciting stuff, right? And, man, has it been, uh, let’s say, a calm, easy, gentle worry free New Year, right?
No, it most certainly hasn’t. But it’s been good, right? Or somewhat good trending towards good. We’re hoping for good. What do we think? Acceptable.
I think it might just be all in the way that we’re looking at it, right?
I mean, some things are definitively bad when you turn on the news right now, you are going to find plenty that is just outright bat. But we have the opportunity most of us to turn off the news and step away from all of that, right? I mean, I am fully aware that that is a privilege. I’m completely aware of that. And if you do not have the opportunity to turn off the news and step away from that ugly, I’m praying for you. I really am. And I hope that through my words and actions, I try to make this world a little bit easier for you. And if you do have the opportunity to turn it off and step away, my friends do it.
I love politics. It’s part of my life. I followed it closely. I’m excited to be volunteering with a campaign in this election season. I am here for the stories. I’m here for the personalities. I like the gamesmanship of it. I like it all. And even I right now I’m turning that off.
Okay, so let’s talk about the New Year. The other day I published a series of post on the blog, and I can put them in the show notes that were really talking about how New Year’s resolutions are maybe not necessary. And my maybe I’ve been completely unnecessary. I know that we like to start fresh at a time that makes sense and are organized, black and white, write-it-down-in-th- planner type of Western mindset, right? We start new on Mondays. We start on the first of the month. We start fresh every morning. When we wake up all of that. That’s what we like to tell ourselves.
So when it looks like we have an obvious opportunity to start over, that’s where we jump.
And I’m here to tell you that you do not need an obvious moment to start over right now is your moment to start over five seconds from now is your moment to start over. 20 minutes ago, it was your moment to start over. You don’t need to wait for the first. You don’t need a Monday or a Sunday. If you’re a total freak who thinks that exerts on Sunday, you need right now you need a decision. I also want to be sure to mention that when you start fresh, it doesn’t have to look the way that you imagined it. And if and when it does not, my friends, because the real world does not take place in your brain. It’s okay.
Right now I am coming to you with this podcast from my mother’s closet in her home. I’m staring at her shoe collection. You can probably hear that I have an obvious Sinus infection and we’re leaving in a couple hours to head on the cruise that I have planned for many months. Yeah, that’s not perfect. Not perfect. But I said I was doing this podcast on Wednesdays. It brings me joy to do it and I’m doing it. That was my commitment to myself. That was my commitment to my friends who are listening. It’s a commitment I made, and it’s not a commitment I’m about to drop.
So what do you do when the circumstances mean that your commitments are not gonna be perfect? You do him anyway, take a little bit of pride, swallow it down deep and do it. Friends. I’m certainly not just talking about podcasting here.
If you did not take my advice and decided that the New Year was exactly when you needed to start a new life style, a new career, um, a new diet. And here we are one weekend and it has gone directly to trash Start again. Start right now. Just start right now.
Doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be. You just have to give it the effort. I have to point your mind towards it and let your feet follow.
Here’s what we’re not doing. We are not doing the New Year new me just because it’s January 1st. If you fell into the trap of thinking that you had to declare some radical change for your life in the new year, I mean y’all, it’s a new decade. Of course, that means life change, right? Wrong row. If this was not the time for a new entire life for you, then this is not the time. But if you have a specific goal, because it is a seed that has been planted in your heart and in your mind, and it is a goal that you want to achieve and it is measurable, then let’s do it. Let’s do it. Not because it’s the first week of January, but let’s do it because it’s what you want. So let’s do this. Maybe you’re listening And you think, “OK, Sally. I also felt the same way about a New Year’s resolution. I made no plans. I’m not improving myself in any way. I’m not broken. I don’t need fixing.”
And yes, girl. Yes, yes, I am here for you with that. And if you also would like to make some small changes, if there are areas in your life that you want to improve, then let’s just take a moment to be mindful. Let’s have a quiet moment to just close your eyes and visualize the change. Where will you be if you make the change that’s on your heart? What will that mean? for you in six months. What would that mean for you in one year? If and when you follow through? How does it feel? What else changes in your life for you because of this change? And is it something that adds value to your life? And if, after you have closed your eyes and you have envisioned this new experience for yourself, you feel like yes, this is what I want. Now it’s on to make an actual plan. Yes, I know.
I’m a Sagittarius. I’m a winner. I am not a plan maker, but if there’s anything that I know for sure, it’s that sometimes we absolutely need a plan. Doesn’t have to be big. Just write down a couple of things that you can do every day starting five minutes from now to help you achieve the school. What can you D’oh Write them down stickum on a post it note, Stick him in front of your desk. Stick those couple of action steps on the microwave. Is that safe? Maybe you shouldn’t do another microwave. Someone tell me, Is sticking a posted? No, on your microwave. Okay, but put it on your fridge. Put it somewhere safe and somewhere somewhere obvious. Then you gotta move your feet. Then you gotta move your feet. Sometimes. Once you have decided that you want something and you declare it out loud and on paper, that’s when everything comes for you, right?
That’s when it gets hard. Once you have declared it, then the universe can try to shift you off track. You don’t have to accept that. You just need to know that I have decided to do this thing for myself because I want it. And I am taking these steps and nothing that you do is taking me off track. Like in my case, no Sinus infection, no traveling. I’m in a house with six dogs right now. Can you hear the dogs? Maybe. Maybe because it doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be perfect. If on January 1st you woke up at 5 a.m. To hit the gym and on January 2nd maybe didn’t get out of bed until six, but still hit the gym. And here we are one week later and you slept right until nine o’clock or slept until the exact moment you had to get up. The kids It’s okay. Time to start over. Here we are on this Tuesday afternoon. Time to start over.
Here’s my one little tip. Maybe you don’t need to name your new goal.
Here’s what I mean by that. Sometime in the middle of December, I decided that I wanted to go back to a lifestyle that did not include meat. Okay, I have been in this place before and given up meat. Before I knew my husband I felt fantastic both emotionally and physically. And I know it’s the right move for me, and I’m excited to do it. That doesn’t mean I believe everybody else needs to do it. That doesn’t mean I’m going to have any judgment about anyone else. It just is something that I wanted to D’oh. So I did. And you know what? Because I really wanted it. It really wasn’t that hard. I have kind of thought that meat was disgusting for a while. It grosses me out when I put it in my mouth. I can’t think about the process of getting it to my plate without being a little bit unsettled in my soul. All I know is that right now at this place in my life. I’m choosing to eliminate meat.
Well, here’s what I did, of course, when you’re going to make a new change. One of the things that we do is that we go on social media. We find other people who made that change before we did, so we can get some advice. And I think that’s a healthy thing to Dio. We discuss that a little bit with, um, with Jackie in our interview in the last episode is that sometimes online communities are incredibly helpful for us as we move into a new phase in our life.
This just happens to be one of those times where it was not helpful for me because there is just this massive craze towards whole food, plant based or vegan or all of these buzzwords that are going around mostly because of game changers on Netflix and again, no judgment about that. I’ve watched game changers. I think it’s a great documentary, but because it’s a little buzzy right now, those groups are being just flooded with people who have very strong opinions and bless you for those opinions. My friends, I just don’t need to see them so I joined them because I wanted some recipe advice. What are people eating? You know, show me a creative way to do this thing without a creative way. I’m just going to fall back into my own habits, which involved boring vegetables raw on a plate. I don’t mind it, but my family’s not too excited about that. And if I eventually don’t wanna have to make multiple dinners, I’m gonna need them to come along with me.
So I thought I was joining to get some recipes. What I really did was I joined groups off super judgmental people.
I’m gonna back up just a second. It would be super unfair for me to tell you that everyone in these groups is judgmental, and that is absolutely not what I’m saying. I’m saying that there is a large enough contingent of people who have very strong opinions, and they would like everyone else to share those opinions that it makes being in the group’s untenable for me at this time.
And that’s because, even though maybe therefore plant based eaters at the start or new vegetarians or whatever the name is, when you get in, you find these people who are willing to jump all over everyone for the tiniest little thing. I saw someone in one of the groups today ask if it’s okay to eat, honey. And I’m sure there are many different valid opinions about the use of honey and farming and bees and environmental practices and all of that. But you would have thought she said, “Is it OK to drop a small nuclear bomb?” I mean, it was crazy the kinds of comments that she was getting about the exploitation of the honeybees. And how could you possibly be in this group? You must not have ethical concerns about the treatment of animals and all of these things that were just entirely unnecessary when the answer could have been Girl, why don’t you look up how honey is produced, and if you’re cool with it, eat some honey.
The crux of it was that this person wanted to be able to call herself vegan. So she was asking the question about honey so that she knew if she was being honest, if she called herself vegan and all I could think of us.
Why do you need the word? I’m not sure why you need the word.
Maybe just because it’s easier than explaining to the people around you. Well, I’m making some choices about my diet that include X, Y and Z, but not, you know, A, B and C. But why do you need to explain yourself? What you’re putting into your body is nobody’s business. If whatever you’re putting on your plate is not open to someone else’s opinion, and if they have won, they can keep it to themselves, please, and thank you. And if they come at you with it, your only obligation is to say, “Oh, interesting or huh” and move on.
You don’t need to accept it. You don’t need to internalize what anyone else is thinking about your plate or to expand this about your new running hobby or the fact that you’ve picked up your paintbrushes for the first time in five years, or the fact that you’re calling a family member you haven’t spoken to in a while because it’s time to end that drama.
Whatever this decision is that you’re starting today, you don’t need to name it. You don’t need society’s name for it. You don’t need to adopt anyone else’s conventions you don’t need to ask for permission. In most cases, I don’t watch out. They’re being reckless. But most of the time, if you’re making a decision that is positive for you, it doesn’t require anyone else’s permission.
And when we’re seeking a name, it’s like we’re looking for society’s approval and my friends, we don’t need it. Most of the time. It’s unhelpful. Much of the time it is not required. And if it’s going to, add rules to your life that are not limits that you want on yourself. Shed them, let them go and run in the other direction. Like the sweet gal who wanted to incorporate more vegetables into her life and wasn’t sure about a teaspoon of honey and whether or not she could call herself vegan.
Drop the word. Drop the need to explain it. Drop the requirement to be perfect and start fresh. Start fresh with what you want right now.
If she ate the honey a month ago, if she ate the honey a minute ago and really feels like the word vegan is critical to her and I really don’t even know the answer, I think vegans I don’t know. I’m not gonna speak for an entire group of people. I don’t think they generally go with honey. Anyway. Don’t come at me with your vegan advice. I don’t have it. I don’t have it. I’ve never I probably never will. I don’t need a name.
And guess what? You don’t need a name either. You’ve got one.
My friends use your own. Nobody needs to call you buy anything outside of your actual name? Are you making this change for you? Are you making this change for show? I’m gonna ask you that again. Is this a change that you want to make for yourself? Or are you starting fresh for the show of? It may be a good way to examine That is heavier. Put it on social media. Have you decided if your fresh start was valid based on how many reactions you got? Because if that has played into your decision making process, this isn’t something you really want. And if you’re trying to change your life for something you don’t really want left turn, Clyde, It’s trying to change your life for a different reason.
We are dropping our decision making process that is based on the number of social media reactions. Let it go.
And if it’s not social media for you, if it’s face to face interactions with people, if you’re looking for their approval, no, it’s not helpful. So while you’re doing your visualization about what areas of your life could maybe use some improvement, let’s leave that part entirely out. Okay?
But I heard something the other day that I thought was beautiful, but I want to be completely and totally honest with you that I don’t know for sure that it’s true. I also I’m not sure that it matters. If it’s true or not, we’re gonna go with the idea of it because it’s a beautiful idea. If you know if you can confirm this for me, please leave me a message or send me an e mail cause I would love to know. Okay, here we go. I was told the other day that the Chinese symbol for change is two characters, and the two characters represent danger and opportunity. Y’all, when we apply this concept to our lives, I don’t think we need Thio be considering danger as like full on our bodies are at risk. Danger? No I mean, if I were to stay on the path that I’m on right now, it would take me to a place where I don’t want to be. That feels like danger to me, and we have the opportunity to avoid it. If we make changes right, change, danger and opportunity. So when you are having a quiet moment and you are visualize in your life, what roads are leading you to perdition, where is the danger in your life? Where is the upcoming and not in an anxiety producing way?
But what are you doing that’s leading you to a place where you do not want to be? And how do we get off that road? Once you’ve identified that, it’s so much easier to take the left to say thanks. This is my stop.
Where is your stop today?
Maybe on December 31st it felt like I have to work out every single day. That’s what I have to do. And if I don’t do that, then everything is over. That’s not true. That’s not true. You don’t need to leap from the bus. The bus is not on fire. You need to just pull the court tell the bus driver you’re done, Take a step down. If in 2020 you’ve decided this is the year I’m running a marathon. Guess where you start by lacing up your shoes. Did you put on your sneakers today? Did you go to the running store and get your foot evaluated? Did you print out a training plan? Have you considered your fuel choices so that you can begin experimenting with what works best for you? Have you started looking at races in different climates? Have you considered what the training schedule is going to look like? And how will it fit in with your family schedule in the time of your you’re considering
Hint: The Disney World Marathon in January, My friends, is a great race to train for if you like the treadmill in your basement. If you live in a cold climate, I’m just throwing that out there. Y’all know that’s one of my favorite races. You know, I love run Disney, and that’s a tough race to train for. It’s a tough race.
These are the kinds of things I want you to consider as you’re setting your goals. How can you set yourself up for success How can you take the tiny steps to get there? How does success look? And most importantly, how can you get yourself in a mindset where you’re comfortable? Starting fresh now, starting fresh tomorrow, starting fresh at 3 p.m. Starting fresh in the middle of the night by getting more sleep. Whatever you have to. So that any time life takes you a bit off the course, you say to yourself, “Huh, That just happened. I recognize that happened. I will take a moment. And except that it happened. I’m going to evaluate the circumstances that brought me here, and I’m going to start fresh as I am right now.”
You don’t need to tell the world you don’t need to apologize for it in many cases. Okay? There sometimes where you maybe do. If it’s a danger to yourself, you might need to talk to somebody. But in most cases, you don’t need to apologize for your transgression. Truthfully, you probably don’t need to even rate it as good or bet. Just recognize that action was not taking me towards my goals, because that’s it, right? Everything that you do is either moving you one step closer to your goal or one step away from it. Those are the only options.
Are you making the choices that bring you closer or the choices that bring you further away? And if you’ve made one that takes you further away, start fresh. Move closer.
Don’t Please. My friends don’t, Don’t, Don’t. I feel like one tiny step backwards requires the world’s most giant leap forwards to make up for it. It doesn’t. That kind of stuff is unsustainable.
Did you miss a run yesterday? That’s on your training plan. Don’t double your runs today. Don’t do that. All that does is lead you to exhaustion. Make your legs sore so that you miss your run tomorrow and then you feel angry with yourself. Just recognize the circumstances that had you miss your run yesterday. And don’t miss it today.
Okay? That’s it. So that happened yesterday? Doesn’t have to happen today because now I start fresh.
How was your breakfast? Hot trash. Start fresh. Maybe lunch will be a little better. Maybe your snack will be a little bit better. Maybe you’ll just drink some more water. Whatever is start fresh right now, are y’all?
I hope you’re having a fantastic 2020. I hope that this year is full of fresh starts. I hope that this year brings you incredible joy. I hope that you are gaining the confidence in yourself in your surroundings, in your abilities, to drop whatever it is that is holding you back so that you can have the life that you want.
My friends, I hope that you feel empowered to choose the life that you want. I hope that you recognize all of the authority that you have just by having your feet in the spot where they are all the authority that you have over your own life. I hope that you have decided that this is the year that no one controls you.
But you I hope that this year is already bringing you piece. And I hope that you’re good to yourselves. I hope that where you don’t have peace, you find it and you claim it. And I hope that you have the courage to start fresh as often as you need. In yoga, they say that all that you need to do when you come to practice is breathe. Just show up and breathe and my hope for you is that sometimes you recognize that all that is required of you is that you show up for your goals and you breathe.
Thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate every single one of you, and I can’t wait to get to know you better in 2020. If you have any suggestions for the show, I would love for you to send them to me. You can send them in an email at Sally at finding finish lines dot com or join us over on Facebook out, of course, facebook dot com slash finding finish lines. And if you have a second to leave a review, I would really appreciate that. It helps other people find the show and hopefully bring them encouragement to for more finding finish Line’s Join us over on the blogger of finding finish lines dot com and hey, leave me a message. Let me know where you’re going this year. Let me know how you are giving yourself a fresh start. I’d love to know.
Until next time, carry on women of valor
