Actionable Tips from your favorite yogini on how to be more resilient
we have all been there
Do you ever have those days where absolutely nothing goes the way you want it to? You’re beyond tired despite eight hours of sleep (but like, who really gets that much?) you forgot today was the office potluck, and you realized your shirt was inside out but only after 5pm. Good. Glad I am not the only one.
It is more than halfway though 2019 and I am still trying to outdo the hot dumpster fire of 2018. The death of a close high school friend, a ridiculously soul-crushing break-up, quitting my job like a boss and now struggling to get back my financial peace, on top of getting (sometimes it feels like having to, let’s just be real here) to teach yoga every stinkin’ day, I do what I can just to make it home as a whole human.
In January I decided this is the year for me. After being diagnosed with severe anxiety and mild depression, I needed something to just relax this busy Virgo brain of mine. A few years ago I rediscovered my passion for yoga, and with a swift kick in the rump from my family I became a 200-hour Baptiste Certified yoga teacher—and it’s been quite the adventure living my life from a new way of being.
Grant me just one total hippie moment and believe when I say that when you change the way you react to the universe, the universe changes the way it reacts to you.
Here are a few tips I have found that help me destress, unwind, and bend when I feel like I just might break:
Your insides reflect your outsides.
Don’t fret, I’m not here to tell you to ditch the beef and eat kale everything ( I mean, unless that sounds cool to you, then right on!).
I have tried every diet, fad, cleanse, weight loss pill, Pinterest potion, and cupcake you could think of and I can honestly say when you eat real food you feel real good. Completely overhauling your diet can be stressful in and of itself, so instead of going nutso and throwing everything in your kitchen away, just focus on making smarter choices day by day.
If a rough day typically brings you to pour that extra large glass of wine every night, try going for a quick walk around the neighborhood instead. Put those headphones in and blast your favorite early 2000s rap music you don’t want your kids to listen to, and go! Your liver will appreciate your generosity and if you don’t catch yourself dancing like you’re “in da club” then maybe you really do need the wine. Small changes add up to big changes over time. Celebrate your small wins and keep ‘em coming.
Make “Me” Matter.
I always hear people say “I can’t seem to find any ‘me’ time,” and I think, well, why not?
If quality time for yourself isn’t something you can find easily, then stop looking for it and start making it! It’s okay to tell Tammy from HR (who you aren’t really fond of anyway) that you’re too busy to hear about her cat’s birthday party. It’s okay to tell your kids to entertain themselves for an hour while you snag some quiet time. It’s okay.
This doesn’t make you selfish, it doesn’t make you a terrible parent, it makes you learn to matter to yourself.
Work with me here. If you’re anything like me, then you will move and finagle your schedule every which way to accommodate the things you find important: kid’s dentist appointment, husband’s work function, mom’s birthday party. Move that schedule around for yourself too, homegirl!
Carve out an hour for that overdue pedicure you’ve been saying you’ll get to eventually. Go to that incredibly terrifying spin class you keep hearing about. Watch anything on Bravo and be excited that drama ain’t happenin’ to you. Shoot, go skydiving if you want to! Just make the time to do something for yourself. My favorite quote, and I have no idea whose mouth it originated from, is:
“You can’t pour from an empty cup.” –Some incredibly deep Bro
How can you keep pouring for everyone if your cup is empty? You can’t possibly be expected to keep it all together if you have nothing to keep you going. Spend some QT with yourself and fill your proverbial cup up so you can pour greatness into others.
And I don’t mean wine glass. Refer to tip number one!
Ohm…my goodness, what?
When I first started training and was told to adopt a daily meditation practice I was like, you’ve got to be kidding right? I don’t even have time for breakfast most days, I can’t possibly sit around and think about not thinking! Yup. I want you to meditate.
I’m now a complete sucker for a good meditation. I’ve been converted y’all!
Start small. Five minutes before bed get comfy, close your eyes, and reflect on your breath. Imagine it coming into your nose and out through your nose.
I started reading The Buddha Walks Into a Bar by Lodro Rinzler and he suggests that during meditation when you start to feel yourself coming into thoughts say the word “thinking” out loud. It reminds you to bring your attention back into your breath and out of your to-do list. YouTube has an incredible selection of quick guided meditations and nidras if you feel silly just sitting in silence or need something fast and at your fingertips. Headspace is an excellent app to help with clearing your head (the name makes sense now!) of junk and filling it with greatness. Plus, Andy’s voice is super attractive so that helps. Trust me, finding space in that brain of yours and clearing out what isn’t serving you right now will make all the difference.
The pressure is not on
Now I’m not saying these are die hard tips to live by but I hope they are at least a few ideas to consider. They have really helped me let that ishh go and to stop being so dang salty all the time. When you start taking care of yourself you can start to bend with the weight of the world rather than let it break you.
Clearing your heart space and head space and discovering what it’s like to hang out with yourself encourages new relationships. It also enables you to strengthen the relationships you already have.
No one likes a grump, so let this be the beginning of your new flow. Discover how the world embraces your newly found flexibility!